There’s the heartbreak wave

 sad and fresh

 that sweeps in over my rocky-sould

when love doesn’t work out.

There’s the horror-loss-heart

when assurance is ripped away
people,

always supposed to be

Aren’t

 and won’t ever again

 smile or breathe.

And there’s another

 Under-cover ache

Hanging around, lurking around

 waving across the night,

 just waiting.

It’s holding a little bomb for me,

delayed shock

 a board upside my head,

 the spike in my chest,
When at last self delusion breaks:

She ripped my hair harder, because…
She tore up my butt to teach me a lesson, because…

She complained, blamed, and assigned me grown-up powers over her because…

She was never loved deeply

 and her pain-hole never healed
So disappointed

 that I was not

ready, willing, nor able

to cure her secret feelings
Bitter. Sad. Jealous. Hurting. Hating.

My mommy
did not

 could not

will not ever

 love me.

There is no mother

Except me now

How wonderful.

 I have a home.

There’s caring there.

There’s soothing there

For the ache in my weary waiting heart

I bestow onto my own brow

A band-aid kiss

Seeeeee…

That’s better