There’s the heartbreak wave
sad and fresh
that sweeps in over my rocky-sould
when love doesn’t work out.
There’s the horror-loss-heart
when assurance is ripped away
people,
always supposed to be
Aren’t
and won’t ever again
smile or breathe.
And there’s another
Under-cover ache
Hanging around, lurking around
waving across the night,
just waiting.
It’s holding a little bomb for me,
delayed shock
a board upside my head,
the spike in my chest,
When at last self delusion breaks:
She ripped my hair harder, because…
She tore up my butt to teach me a lesson, because…
She complained, blamed, and assigned me grown-up powers over her because…
She was never loved deeply
and her pain-hole never healed
So disappointed
that I was not
ready, willing, nor able
to cure her secret feelings
Bitter. Sad. Jealous. Hurting. Hating.
My mommy
did not
could not
will not ever
love me.
There is no mother
Except me now
How wonderful.
I have a home.
There’s caring there.
There’s soothing there
For the ache in my weary waiting heart
I bestow onto my own brow
A band-aid kiss
Seeeeee…
That’s better