A Soul Sickness Killed Off My Entire Family...But I Survived!
Hard Truths Served with Compassion and Empathy
If you have struggled with the legacy of trauma: racial injustice, addiction, depression, sexism, abuse, neglect, suicide…This website delivers strategies on how to survive in the pain, how to thrive in the aftermath, and how help end the transmission of hurtful behavior down family lines. Mixed Girl Survival School is the name of my book, this website, and a new brand of learning & teaching in this diverse world. Welcome!
This site hosts:
- my blog on the educational, racial, and gender norms in America's schools, families, and society at large: an empathic call to action
- excerpts from my memoir: Mixed Girl Survival School
- events: for people to come together for lectures, readings, and other nourishing activities
About Me
Hi, I'm Laurie
There's more than one kind of schooling. Watching my family members hope, struggle, and die taught me extreme empathy for other's who suffer. Though my survival brought life-lessons, I benefited from formal training as well. I hold a master's degree in education & social justice, and earned two special education teaching credentials. As part of my training, I studied infant brain development and human personality at WestEd’s Center for Child and Family Studies. I have worked with families who are coping with multiple disabilities, including trauma related mental health issues.
Real Talk
From this sharecropping field in Arkansas to Berkeley during the 60s, my memoir, explains how I grew up with a White mother and brother, a Black father, a Black & White Brother, a Japanese & Black brother, and a Korean & Black sister. It explains how an admirable racial experiment went terribly wrong.
But Not All of It Was a Bummer

A lot of funny, OMG moments occurred that are ultimately amazing and inspiring. From how the cast of Bonanza interacted with my hair, to "Boogie Nights" at the golf course I literally lived at, and the racial sorting on the playground that rivals anything in the Lord of the Flies. I have wisdom to share with today’s mixed families that may prevent teasing, awkward interactions, and boundary violations.
Advance Praise for the Memoir
Advance Praise for Mixed Girl, Trauma Oncologist
"WOW WOW!!! Incredible!!!"

Laurie Panther’s loving story about being the last healthy survivor of her “rainbow family” of origin sheds light on the mechanics of neglect, reckoning, and resilience so prevalent in the American experience. Her light narrative touch lets the reader empathize without being traumatized, joining her hopeful personal journey through the center of a sad epic.

Don't Miss My Blog
(This is part 2 of a 2-Part article. Read Part 1 first ) I was soul-sick. No doubt about it. When I should have been bonding with my mother as an infant, she was nurturing her career and I was left with a babysitter & bottle. When I could have turned to her for...
What is soul sickness? Let’s start by defining soul-health and work backwards. According to soul-guru — and Oprah’s good friend — Gary Zukov, the soul is a nurturer, soother, and provider of life energy. And when one connects with this source, well-being and a direction in life will flow like a leaf falling into a stream....
I’m part of a spiritual program that’s helps me abstain from destructive substances because “There Be Dragons” waiting off the edge of that map, and that dragon already ate my entire family, so I’m pretty sure he’s licking his chops waiting patiently to finish off the meal. And yet, even though I’ve been practicing...
Events
This workshop for women blends my post graduate studies on human development, and experience facilitating Adult Survivors of Child Abuse meetings with my recent somatic training by Padma Gordon of the Responsive Body Movement. I look forward to leading us (I’m still on the journey with you) to the next level of loving ourselves...
The links to my workshop and my story at the Moth, are live once you click on this link.
November 8, 2017 5 p.m. – 6:30 p.m. The Octopus Literary Salon 2101 Webster Street. #170 Oakland, CA I will be doing a reading/workshop at the Octopus Literary Salon, wherein I intersperse memoir readings with dialog about trauma research and recovery. RSVP via Facebook.
Date: Sunday October 29 Time: 12:00 pm – 01:30 pm Sports Basement 2727 Milvia St. Berkeley A reading from Laurie Panther’s memoir: true stories Interspersed with a discussion of trauma research and recovery. RSVP for this event on Facebook.
May My Mixed-Up, Mixed-Race Family Rest In Peace. They were... "Just a Dream Some of Us Had" Joni Mitchell
Samuel Lacy Jr. (Father) Died 2/2/ 1999
Lee Allen Lacy (Youngest Brother) 2/2/1999 - Paralyzed by drug over-dose
Joji Lacy (Middle Brother) Died 2/16/2000
Larry Samuel Lacy (Eldest Brother) Died 7/26/2001
Betty Jean Lacy (Mother) Died 5/5/2011
Kim Aileen Esquer (Sister) Died 3/1/2012
Lee Allen Lacy (Youngest Brother) 2/2/1999 - Paralyzed by drug over-dose
Joji Lacy (Middle Brother) Died 2/16/2000
Larry Samuel Lacy (Eldest Brother) Died 7/26/2001
Betty Jean Lacy (Mother) Died 5/5/2011
Kim Aileen Esquer (Sister) Died 3/1/2012
CONTACT
Inspired by what I've shared? Or have your own survival story to share? I'd love to hear from you. I'll be featuring a reader contributed story every week, your story might be chosen.