“Oh Hello…what have you brought there?”
I hold the plate of kid-baked,
decorated,
ginger-bread cookies
in front of her.
Eyes are shinny with expectation as she sits up
Gray hair, unusually clean, a little thinner,
But the same pale blue, opaque nightgown
And same flour-sack breasts shifting underneath
“I’ve been so worried…about my father…
He’s been sick you know”.… Read the rest
She kept me around
on her pantry shelf
as she sucked another soul
glibly into her gullet
licking her fingers in feigned innocence
knowing I was there
in despair
Clean hope was her enemy
It’s fresh scent leads prey off the trail
Into the thriving woods
Up the ridge and away from the bog she tends
Come and sit with me here
On the edge of the foul pond
Sit, chat,
bear your pain to me
She sang in her siren’s song
Duped, drugged, and so thirsty
with despair
we all went,
more than once
Letting her pick tidbits off
for later use
when least expected
at the weakest moment
Until unable to rise…
One after another,
Scrabbling for purchase
On the oily rock of her heart
She rose up revealed,
dripping
from dark pool of her grief
unhinged,
and as she swallowed them up
There was a moment of unity and calm surrender
A moment of peace,
Until…
juicy needs digested
her blinking beacon drones back on
She’s got to have more
to swallow
Even if in madness
She sucks her own tail down her gullet
She was too good at what she did
And ran through her stock of lost ones
Stronger in her desperate desire
She casts her eyes for me
again,
She stalks me through time
From bed
From the grave
From the mirror
But I dodge
and weave
and pray
slip away
into the now-day
And this time,
Her web comes up empty
Soon your phantom bat-wings will shake and juggle
No more
… Read the restI can hike and ski and walk and write and dig and lift and pull and plant and climb and fall and jump and roll
But I be will be sore, after
I have smooth skin, soft skin, long legs, tapering ankles, healthy curly hair, bright eyes, strong feet
But parts of me are drooping, wrinkled
I have a slow pulse, low blood pressure, no cancer, no diabetes, no chronic pain, and the muscles inside my pelvis are strong
But sometimes I do wait too long and dribble, a bit of pee
I have a job, I can set my own schedule, have a private office that looks out with beautiful light, I’m praised by my boss, make good money, and help people
But working hurts my soul
I feel my heart, and the past, the pain, I love my kids and they love me, and I have good friends
But I don’t have a special person, to snuggle with
I am surrounded by streams, and woods, and birds singing, and spirit, and willingness, and hope and everything I need today
But I still can’t settle and fully accept, peace
And I HATE that!… Read the rest
A Walk Around My Yard
Giant bolder, giant Hosta
Snappy snap dragons
Rows of Rhodos
And pink Crabapple
A new Magnolia tree.
Peonies and iris
spent daffodil and tulip stalks
a row of pointy Evergreens
with pale tips all over
Boston Ivy berm
And shady perennials
Grapes, wisteria
Courtland apple and white crabapple
Potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower
Squash, beans, tomatoes, herbs, onions chard, and strawberries
Roses, dahlias, gladiolas,
Daylilies, trout plant, and more peonies
Red bud trees, Blueberries, raspberries,
Asparagus,
Pumpkins
Lupines
A red Japanese Maple
Hydrangeas,
More Iris and Rhodos
… Read the restIt
MAKES SENSE
to cry a lot.
What didn’t make any sense was to be numb in my little bed,
to shove away the fear, grief, unmet needs,
then arrive outside my bedroom door,
at the classroom door,
at the neighbor’s door
with a big smile on my face.… Read the rest
There’s the heartbreak wave
sad and fresh
that sweeps in over my rocky-sould
when love doesn’t work out.
There’s the horror-loss-heart
when assurance is ripped away
people,
always supposed to be
Aren’t
and won’t ever again
smile or breathe.
And there’s another
Under-cover ache
Hanging around, lurking around
waving across the night,
just waiting.… Read the rest
Just hang a left and pavement turns to mud and keeps them out
All except the most hardy
The most in need of peace
I pass the chained-off track to the pond
and I’m almost home
I’m almost to my first and only all-mine place to be
The timbers soar towards the chilly sky
I am remembering
Because I can’t see all that with my eyes from here,
under these quilts
But I know it well.… Read the rest
There was no ice where I was born
Then the giant’s took me to the cold.
They busied:
Prepared for games, and conquering.
Child-me stared
up at the sun…golden
Then down
where it turned silver in the ice covered boulders
Wrapped, dripped around…
Ice grew out over the edge of the stream
Crept and smoothed across the grit, sand, and pebbles.… Read the rest
I wish I could drink coffee every day
I try to make it a good thing, a healthier thing.
My special brew is ½ decaf, and yet still so rich,
and I make it sweet, I love it sweet.
But with Stevia, not sugar.… Read the rest
Whheeee! Hooraay!
It’s the best kind of rainy day
When nature took the time to make
things real, not fake
Fire from wood,
Wood from trees
A popcorn bowl at my knees
About to watch a movie!
… Read the rest