A Soul Sickness Killed Off My Entire Family...But I Survived!
Hard Truths Served with Compassion and Empathy
If you have struggled with the legacy of trauma; racial injustice, addiction, depression, sexism, abuse, neglect, suicide…This website delivers strategies on how to survive in the pain, how to thrive in the aftermath and how to help end the transmission of hurtful behavior down family lines. Mixed Girl Survival School is the name of my book, this website and a new brand of learning and teaching in this diverse world.
Welcome!
This site hosts:
- my blog on the educational, racial and gender norms in America’s schools, families and society at large: An empathic call to action;
- excerpts from my memoir: Mixed Girl Survival School;
- events for people to come together such lectures, readings, workshops and other nourishing activities; and
- my poems: A dive into the images and impressions of trauma and healing.
About Me
I write poetry, have completed a memoir, written and performed a one-woman show about my life in several venues. I love to cook fresh from my garden and local farms as a way to entertain and nurture family and friends, as well playing on my bike, kayak, hiking trails and golf courses. I’m a movie buff and am thrilled my grown children still like to hang out with me. I’ve worked hard to obtain this peace, to incorporate the regret that my siblings didn’t survive to share in it with me. That’s why I am a compelled to extend the methods that broke the cycle of dysfunction in my own family line to others.
Real Talk
From this sharecropping field in Arkansas to Berkeley during the 60s, my memoir, describes how I grew up with a White mother and brother, a Black father, a Black and White Brother, a Japanese and Black brother and a Korean and Black sister. It illustrates how an admirable racial experiment went terribly wrong.
But Not All of it Was a Bummer
A lot of funny, OMG moments occurred that are ultimately amazing and inspiring. From how the cast of Bonanza interacted with my hair, to Boogie Nights at the golf course I literally lived at and the racial sorting on the playground that rivals anything in the Lord of the Flies. I have wisdom to share with today’s mixed families that may prevent teasing, awkward interactions and boundary violations.
Advance Praise for the Memoir
WOW WOW!!! Incredible!!!
Caitlin Flanagan
Contributing Editor to The Atlantic, Author of To Hell with All That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife and Girl Land
Laurie Panther’s loving story about being the last healthy survivor of her “rainbow family” of origin sheds light on the mechanics of neglect, reckoning, and resilience so prevalent in the American experience. Her light narrative touch lets the reader empathize without being traumatized, joining her hopeful personal journey through the center of a sad epic.
Don’t Miss My Blog!
Moth Story Slam: “Pussy Bushes”
In one of my first posts of the school year, I discussed how we as educators each find our tipping point for intolerable acts regarding children. At the end of the article I described the tensions of being mixed-race during the start of school integration, and a...
Refuse the Shame, Break the Silence
If you're a woman you've probably had your Harvey Weinstein moment, and you probably didn't report your abuser. I get it. After my attempt to garner help from a perp-supporting yard teacher failed miserably, I gave up believing by seven years old, that I had any right...
Girls Evolved To Survive Abuse (But They Shouldn’t Have Too)
(In my second blog I told the true story about a gang of boys dragging me to the "pussy-bushes" in 3rd grade) Then came 5th grade when a lone troubled boy stalked me in the hallways at recess, using the packed passageways as cover as he repeatedly pressed his...
My Poetry
Events
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May My Mixed-Up, Mixed-Race Family Rest In Peace.
They were… “Just a Dream Some of Us Had” Joni Mitchell
Samuel Lacy Jr. (Father) Died 2/2/1999
Lee Allen Lacy (Youngest Brother) 2/2/1999 – Brain trauma and paralysis from drug overdose
Joji Lacy (Middle Brother) Died 2/16/2000
Larry Samuel Lacy (Eldest Brother) Died 7/26/2001
Betty Jean Lacy (Mother) Died 5/5/2011
Kim Aileen Esquer (Sister) Died 3/1/2012
Contact
Inspired by what I've shared? Or have your own survival story to share? I'd love to hear from you.