Hitch-hiker looks resigned,
and yet his eyes raise as I lead my line
of cars
My destination is up on the left
I don’t want to contribute to his false-hope of a lift
I want to help him feel less pain
Walking down the car-passing lane…
By turning on my blinker
The on-coming pick-up also blinks an opposite turn
As they begin their hard curve
I make my own swerve
WHAT!!!?
Foot stomps itself on the break
Leaving just enough room for the asshole freak
who was in a rush
and brushed
and rushed
around the truck turner, on the shoulder.
Not seeing me
not noticing me
in the car using that shoulder
for a legal turn.
They squirted, gunning, as my rubber burned
We just missed crashing
That’s not right!
That’s not even close to right
That’s not fucking right
in any fucking universe…
I am trying to have my day
But in a safer way
Following the rules of the road
My heart pounds as I pull around
into my white lined slot
What a scare I just got!
The hitch-hiker saw it all
I want to call
To him to testify
My brother
My fellow sufferer
Dodging disappointment
You almost saw my appointment with death spring up and swerve right by
Oh my!
It’s not right.
Not fucking right.
That now in the night
I am feeling it…
And ALL the not right things in my day
The old trembly man
we plan
To keep him warm
And fed
But he falls out of bed.
It’s bad when the boy is from a family
that makes him so mad,
he beats back on the pain
and they fear him,
they stick him behind closed walls
Say “we don’t want him”
You take him.
Yet we can’t
He’ll push over trembly man
He goes back home in the end.
What horror will happen?
Slow motion feelings boil and press everyone into another explosion
People like me who could be giving love to their own families are tethered to their phone
Don’t call me, I had to say. I’m tired.
I’m tired from meetings today
Meeting about the exploding boy.
Meetings about the super sad she-man
Who swallowed a bottle of pills
And needs a place to go
because his family also says no.
You take him Laurie
You fix him Laure
You save him Laurie
And I do save, and keep people from the street,
Coaxing, supporting, helping
But don’t call me tonight
Don’t call me tomorrow
I can’t come.
I’m sad! I’m mad.
I can’t sleep because my sister is whispering to me
Help me Laurie
I’m in a car dying Laurie
You don’t care Laurie
Why are you dead Kim!
Why are you dead Joji?
Why are you dead Larry?
Why are you dead mommy
Why are you dead daddy?
Why are you crippled, and rotting in a bed, child-like and forgetting
in order to live
Lee
Eat the soft food,
Spooned into your mouth
Listen, blind to the T.V.’s drone
Drifting, sifting through just the safe places in the past.
It’s not right!
It’s not fucking right. Not tonight
Not with all my might
Can I make it not awful
Not with prayer
Not in a box
Not with a fox
Not here or there
Not anywhere…
Is it fucking right.
I want to grieve,
I just cried pretty hard
Did it help me
With the shard
In my heart that seems stuck
And I’m out of luck with nothing but the fucking fuck
of Covid
And dying
And sighing
And open-eyed bed-lying
The world’s overloaded with peoples’ stuffing down
And filling up with scrabbling
And playing and forgetting
And bloodletting
The earth is a hot dish of wriggly worms
Culled from germs
That are getting even
Spreading out to thin the weak
And cut the herd
The fear and dread
Cause even more mind-bending heads,
to be heavy like lead
With the dead
Dead Dead Dead
I said!
It’s not fucking RIGHT!
